Dear Anne, I am a 44 year old woman, attractive, and within this past year, I have been through some rough times. I got involved with a man who I didn't love but he told me he loved me and I became "obsessed" with him. After 8 months of disaster, and 2 months to heal myself, I met a guy who I fell head over Heels for. I almost became a doormat even if he told me that he was not in love with me I kept on hoping that he would change. So, after a lot of pain, it only lasted 6 months, I decided to let him go. I was very obsessive from the beginning. Then, right away, I met a very nice gentleman and he seems to have some incredible potential but I cannot trust, I am showing again signs of obsession. I have only kissed him and he's been very understanding, I want to take it slowly with him, but I am living every moment with fear (not to see him, that he may be with someone else, that he is not telling me the truth, that he doesn't want me (even if he tells me and shows me the opposite). I like him very much and would like to try to keep this one and become intimate eventually on a healthy level. What's wrong with me? I have been in constant pain for the past year now and I want to get back to who I was before; A very confident, self-sufficient and happy woman. Could it be physiological or childhood traumas that are re-surfacing?
THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION WILL NOT BE DISPLAYED UNTIL YOU HAVE INDICATED YOUR AGREEMENT WITH THE DISCLAIMER PRINTED JUST BELOW. CLICK THE 'I AGREE' BUTTON TO AGREE TO THESE TERMS AND SEE THE RESPONSE.
- 'Anne' is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
- 'Anne' bases her responses on her personal experiences and not on professional training or study. She does not represent herself to be a psychologist, therapist, counselor or professional helper of any sort. Her responses are offered from the perspective of a friend or mentor only.
- Anne intends her responses to provide general information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
- Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
- No correspondence takes place.
- No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by 'Anne' to people submitting questions.
- 'Anne', Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. 'Anne' and Mental Help Net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
- Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.